Lesson of the Roses

Afraid was I to enter the beautiful roses garden...
For I feared the sting of the bees, prick of the thorns.


You held out your hand, led the way in.
Mesmerized I followed...

Uncertain though,
My trust you hold...


Break it not!
For I shall therefore fall...

A little stumble,
A little fall...

The bees stung,
The thorns pricked..

And the hands that led,
Were there no more...

- Vidhisha

Rebellion in Peaceland? or Just a wish to Live...

Moms... Don't you just love them even though they may sometime just irritate the hell out of you?

Sincerely.. I have the utmost love and respect for mine. But making a show of affection to me is not one of the brightest parts of my parents. I know they do not hate me. But expressing love by showing appreciation is something they just do not do. And having grown up that way, I do the same when it comes to them. Is it completely my fault?? I guess not but I still feel guilty. It is not the way I'd like to raise my kids someday. I mean Yes but there is room for improvement. Research in parenting styles show that showing affection and positive comments to the child brings much better results in terms of satisfaction and self esteem and confidence. 

However, it is true that the new generation, which is ours, are much more expressive when it comes to showing our feelings. So maybe I can hope for a positive change for the kids of the future! The pros and cons are scary. So that sometimes you just don't know what to wish for. Am I confusing you? I pray not! I had a fight with my mom today. It becomes really difficult sometimes to not cross the line. Or figure out Where actually is the line? Till when do you bear everything? When do you say "Stop" and explode? You respect them but you also have to voice out your opinion and defend yourself sometimes. For how long can you bottle things up?

Selfishness.. Was it mine? or hers? maybe both? I accept that maybe I was but I will also defend myself and say that all I did was defend myself. Would a parent accept that they were selfish? and insensitive to your feelings? Why is it so difficult for them? Whenever that time comes, you'll find them taking out their ultimate weapon and argument!: "How can you even say this?? We raised you this big, gave you everything you needed..." bla bla bla... 

It is not nonsense. They have a point. I accept it. But.. How do you tell them that all you ever want is a positive word of encouragement? a hug maybe? some appreciation for what you do to make them proud of you someday maybe? Do we NEED to tell this??? If only they could read this...

I LOVE MY PARENTS. 

I would love to tell them this everyday and I would if I thought that they will respond to it. Maybe they will. Most probably they will respond to it. How can any parent resist it? But there is always that maybe not... And if it is "Maybe not" then the hurt will be too much to bear. So we just shut up and sit in our dark hole.

We are not Robots. We are humans. With feelings. And emotions. And a mind that thinks a bit too much.

I don't want to be a robot. Produced by society to run society in the future.

All I want is to Live. Live fully, without regrets...

-  Vidhisha

A part of me...

 

I have hated myself for still caring after everything that has happened.

I have cursed those who do not have a pinch of humanity left in them.

All of a sudden, I just realise that I was headed in the same direction as those I hated!

Caring instead of hating is what makes me Human!

And as such, I accept myself... :)

- Vidhisha

That world we never want to leave..

You can say we live in different worlds. A world at home, a world at school with friends, a world at work with colleagues, a world of your own in your imagination and my favorite among them all, Dreamworld or LaLa Land as some of my friends call it!

Really! One of the toughest things to do is to wake up and leave the dreams behind to re-enter the Real life... 

Why is it that some dreams are more vivid than others? Is it really just our brain sorting through our memories? Letting my imagination run wild, i'd prefer to believe its just another dimension... Another world!! 

You must think that's crazy right?? Don't worry.. it's all just the effect of the TV shows I have been watching lately. You might remember them? Spellbinder? and The Secret World of Alex Mack? I like to think about it with an open mind. As I said earlier.. just let your imagination loose!! It makes your world even more interesting!

We'll get back to that later... I was talking about dreams! Several times, I have had dreams which seemed so real that they left me confused when I finally woke up. And I am sure, you must have been through this too! I had one of those today too... It seemed just sooo unfair that I had to leave it all behind to get back to the boring world of reality!! Yeah yeah.. am sooo ungrateful for the reality that I have while others are suffering!! But when was a human being ever satisfied with what he had?? I am certainly no exception! But I compensate by my wild imagination. Anything can happen anywhere out everything! That pigeon sitting up there since so long, it could be the spy or something alike. That doll, is it really inanimate? or it just fools us to be able to stay with us? xD well.. These are just some crazy stupid examples...My imagination is far more complex! This is just to show you.. If your world is Boring, then make it become alive through your imagination! It is yours and yours only...

Moving on to another topic, Do you believe in intuition? Gut feelings? or a sixth sense? Whatever you wish to call it... I prefer intuition. It is not really clairvoyance. It is just something within you which tries to guide you but you cannot explain what and why. It very often happens to me. It is not something which you can call upon. It just happens and you feel it. Several times, against common sense I have acted on it. On the spot, I could not see or understand the sense of it but due to previous regrets about not having followed it, now I always follow it! (whenever possible I mean!)

It's crazy at first.. but you see the sense of it in due time. To give you an example of a simple one: We never feel like going to classes every morning. You know you have to! And you go. But sometimes, there is a difference. You don't feel like going. I can already feel that the lecturer is not going to be there. It is not just laziness! It's something within me which tells me DON'T GO! not just that feeling of not wanting to go. A couple of times I ignored it and ended up making it all the way to university for nothing! Other times I just have to go since I cannot really depend on my intuition! Could not risk missing a class because of my intuition and again, no class! It's like you are torn between two! LOL. I know it sounds crazy but it has happened several times. My friends know all about it!

Quite long back, I made a decision relying upon it. I could not understand why. But as I said, sooner or later, it makes sense! And recently it did!! So what is this thing? I like to believe that it means we control our lives! God or whatever it is, is there, guiding us, helping us. Whether we choose to follow or not is in our hands. But the point to be noted here that God or the belief in a higher power has nothing rational in it, so we should not expect rational reasons to be following the path it guides us to.. Some follow it, some don't and some keep waiting for a reason...
Ponder on this peeps!

Till then,

Ciao!
- Vidhisha

A little step aside...

Who sees beyond the calm blue sea?

What is the source and journey of that wave which crashes ever so gently on the never ending shores?

Is the storm a reflection of the turmoil within...?

Who knows... Who cares...

-Vidhisha

Hey readers!

As usual.. it's been a looong time! :)
Am back on vacations, which are nearing an end actually! I wrote this little thing last week on my way to Grand Bay. The weather and view were just soo inspiring and soothing! The bus had large windows, it was raining and it felt like the sun was playing hide and seek and just peeking through the clouds from time to time. I could only wish that time stopped or the journey went on. As always, my favourite tunes were running on my ipod which only contributed positively to the mood...

Sometimes things happen, they make you think and then we forget all about it. That's why I write. I write the important events down, those fleeting feelings as poems... Someday, when I am old, I will remind myself... IF I get to live that long! LOL!

We should have classes which promotes these feelings. I mean outdoor classes to get in touch with nature, long quiet drives... Maybe it will awaken our feelings towards Mother Earth. We'll come to love our planet and we do not hurt our loved ones out of our own selfishness.

But actually, my poem was not about nature. It rarely is. Just read it. Understand it. Let it sink in. It's all about you and others. A circle is only completed when everyone links their hands... So.. put out your hands.. the rest will fall into place...

On this note, I'll leave you to your thoughts...

Vidhisha

Happy New Year!!

I have a feeling that I keep repeating myself over and over again in my posts...
For the moment.. Let me take the time to wish you all a very Happy New Year 2012!! I really hope that this is gonna be a wonderful year ahead!! Much better than 2011...

Here we are... at the point where the holidays are coming at an end and classes back on the horizon. Sometimes we really feel like, make the holidays go on forever!! But the holiday boredom makes me wish for my daily classes. At least, I get to travel and spend time with my friends!!

Funny... my blog sounds like a personal diary! Oops! Should be more careful about what I say!

I haven't written any new poems since the new year. But I do have a couple I wrote earlier in during the long rainy days... Am looking forward to my classes. And hoping to apply my new year resolutions effectively!
I know there are millions like me around the world who fail to apply theirs!! lol!! This year has to be different. I can feel it!

Keeping a positive attitude, let's face this new year with a smile, make new friends and enjoy life as it comes. We don't have a second chance. :)

Ps: Worry not about the mayan calendar. At the rate we're going, it's sure there are gonna be major calamities in the coming months... But it definitely is not the end of times. Just be good and do good! Let's not think if others are doing it or not. YOU be responsible and Go Green! :)

Remember.. the ocean is made up of drops! Each drop matters! ^_^

take care,

- Vidhisha