I sure do take lots breaks.. lol! Life's been busy as usual, teaching me a thing or two about itself... In fact, make that two, three, four...... ;) Some were pretty interesting, while others were not very..err..welcomed.. but very necessary indeed. It reminds us that life is the greatest teacher. The past few months were hectic! Classes, assignments, presentations, tests, exams... Second year at uni is indeed tougher! I felt bound in chains, uneasy etc... and now.. AM ON HOLIDAYS!!
To be honest, my holidays are really very boring types, at home, watching tv shows online and so on. But, I came to realise some things. The holidays I have are the heavenly holidays some other people crave for. We can only do what's within our limits. And it turns out that I had NOT been doing the things which were in my limits, so forget about what is not!! The moment I realised this, I felt FREE!! I feel light! I feel nothing is impossible if I work for it. I have to admit that it was the TV shows that taught me a thing or two. I found or rather understood that the first step towards feeling at peace with yourself and to feel good about yourself is to be honest to yourself about what you think, believe and feel. Why be that person everyone wants you to be??? I've been that for the major part of my life. It feels like a prison. Why not live up to my own limits and standards? I used to feel like a split personality patient. One person on the outside and another in my mind!(Not the safests things to do, right?)
So now, I have decided to do things I had only been thinking about! Time to get into some action!! I was thinking that i should write, so here I am. I feel my inspiration coming back to me though not exactly right now...
One of the funny things I realised is that, Inspiration comes at the Wildest AND Weirdest of moments. For example, I could not sleep last night, at 3 am, when am right on the brink of falling asleep after turning and tossing for quite some time, that light blinked in my brain and I had to snap out of my sleep to immediately write it down else I would definitely forget what it was about in the morning. xD
I feel like writing tons and tons of poems! And as crazy at it seems, a book!! I just only came to know how much research work that means! And i want to sing, sing and sing!!(Poor neighbours...)
The most important thing I've come to understand is that, you have only yourself to blame if you feel like a doormat. If you lay right there, all silent, you definitely have no right to groan and moan about your pathetic self. I am not ashamed to say I was that person not so long back. As I said earlier, life taught me some necessary lessons. So, to those who think you know me, think again. If people can be the person they want to be without me telling them how they should be, they have no rights, none at all, to tell me that they want the old me back again. It may seem as a late development in my personality to you. lol. I agree!! But I was brought up to do good and forget. It's not wrong! But i fixed limits this time around. :)
I feel closer to that ideal self image I have painted in my mind.
Here's the phrase which came to me last night:
"What's lonelier than the fragile glass everyone loves to see but avoids for fear of damaging it?"
Am eager to know what it makes you think about.
In fact, there's soo much I want to write about, it just escapes my mind while am at it! I'll jot them down for later! ^_^
Will try to post a poem before going to bed!
So, I wish a very Goodnight to all! Hope you had a pleasant time reading!
Take Care,
Vidhi =)
