Rebellion in Peaceland? or Just a wish to Live...

Moms... Don't you just love them even though they may sometime just irritate the hell out of you?

Sincerely.. I have the utmost love and respect for mine. But making a show of affection to me is not one of the brightest parts of my parents. I know they do not hate me. But expressing love by showing appreciation is something they just do not do. And having grown up that way, I do the same when it comes to them. Is it completely my fault?? I guess not but I still feel guilty. It is not the way I'd like to raise my kids someday. I mean Yes but there is room for improvement. Research in parenting styles show that showing affection and positive comments to the child brings much better results in terms of satisfaction and self esteem and confidence. 

However, it is true that the new generation, which is ours, are much more expressive when it comes to showing our feelings. So maybe I can hope for a positive change for the kids of the future! The pros and cons are scary. So that sometimes you just don't know what to wish for. Am I confusing you? I pray not! I had a fight with my mom today. It becomes really difficult sometimes to not cross the line. Or figure out Where actually is the line? Till when do you bear everything? When do you say "Stop" and explode? You respect them but you also have to voice out your opinion and defend yourself sometimes. For how long can you bottle things up?

Selfishness.. Was it mine? or hers? maybe both? I accept that maybe I was but I will also defend myself and say that all I did was defend myself. Would a parent accept that they were selfish? and insensitive to your feelings? Why is it so difficult for them? Whenever that time comes, you'll find them taking out their ultimate weapon and argument!: "How can you even say this?? We raised you this big, gave you everything you needed..." bla bla bla... 

It is not nonsense. They have a point. I accept it. But.. How do you tell them that all you ever want is a positive word of encouragement? a hug maybe? some appreciation for what you do to make them proud of you someday maybe? Do we NEED to tell this??? If only they could read this...

I LOVE MY PARENTS. 

I would love to tell them this everyday and I would if I thought that they will respond to it. Maybe they will. Most probably they will respond to it. How can any parent resist it? But there is always that maybe not... And if it is "Maybe not" then the hurt will be too much to bear. So we just shut up and sit in our dark hole.

We are not Robots. We are humans. With feelings. And emotions. And a mind that thinks a bit too much.

I don't want to be a robot. Produced by society to run society in the future.

All I want is to Live. Live fully, without regrets...

-  Vidhisha