The Other side of the coin

Heyy.. It's been a long looong time! I read my previous posts and am like: "I wrote all these?? Maan, I really need to follow my own advice!" Really.. I tend to forget the things that I had already reflected upon in the past. Reading my previous posts really helps me to reconnect with the real me all over again. The past year has been so beautiful and full of growing experiences and I have been selfish and lazy for not writing more often and now that am even more busy.. writing is calling out to me! Weird weird karma!

It's exams period again.. so hey! Welcome back Exams! It's that time of the year when we do more complaining about revision than we actually do revise! This is the time when your friends and parents are fully supportive, then again.. sometimes it can be just the opposite. Seriously... revising when you are upset really does NOT help! Sure it helps to focus elsewhere but it will still haunt you. That's when your friends, your personal diary or (as in my case) blogging comes in handy! It is not about venting your anger.. It is all about channelling that energy in to something creative and beautiful. I keep reminding myself that anger will bring me nothing! It only destroys and hurts! Here goes.. am babbling again! :$

The point is, Graduation is hopefully more closer to me now than ever. It is an important milestone for all university students. As newly registered students, we are in awe of the life of the 'Grown ups' . We are in 'La cour des grands' as we would say in French. Oh but well.. given a couple of weeks, this will fade too! But for me, it also felt like I was thrown into a completely different world. I am sure that a lot of others would identify with that. You feel lost and while you are still finding yourself, it is already time to prove yourself. Ever since primary school or kindergarten even, we have had dreams and aspirations of what we want to become. We launch ourselves into the path we think we can do best in. We stop living just to accomplish those dreams. And now it feels like, the older we grow, the less we actually live our life. Best part is when you realise that an undergraduate degree is not enough to realise your dreams. A post graduate degree (which is Not available in your country) is the only way but even that is not guaranteed! This when you begin to question what you have been doing the whole of your life. Day by day we become puppets and robbots to God knows who rules the society. 

So.. I guess am writing because am still lost. And on top of that am feeling a tad bit lonely today.. Feels good to be writing though. I had really lost touch with myself it seems.. I have not written a poem in ages! As soon as exams are done I hope that I can get back to it. It was indeed something I really enjoyed doing. Yes.. My life is Beautiful. But am afraid it will never be perfect. There is always two sides to a coin.. to our stories..

But however lonely.. am revelling in that loneliness instead of sulking. Because at the end of the day, if am not at ease being with myself, how will others be at ease with me or I with others?

- Vidhisha